Two Options

I have to options at the current moment. I could work OR I could write a blog entry. By now I hope you've figured which option I have chosen.

Since I actually have nothing to write about today, I would like to take the time to apologize for my "Nose Plumber" blog entry I wrote yesterday. No, I was neither drunk nor high. I was just high is all. Off of Advil Cold & Sinus (gel caps). Supposedly they are non drowsy.

LIES PEOPLE!! Advil Cold & Sinus makes you drowsy and confusing!

No matter though, I got through yesterday, and I am well into getting through today. Which in turn will get me through this week. Good.

Speaking of yesterday! I finally went grocery shopping! I've been eating all of Darbie's food. So I replenished her stock. In fact, not only did I replenish her stock, I improved her stock! I bought her Scoobi Doo shaped Macaroni and Cheese!!!! I was soooo happy! Of course I was still high off of Advil Cold and Sinus, but whatever.

Darbie is so lucky to have me. Even if she doesnt know it.

Scoobi Doo shaped M&C makes me smile. I love smiling.

And yes, I have taken Advil Cold and Sinus today too. Lay off.

Happy Birthday

Today is my blog's first year birthday. One year ago, to this very day! I was attacked my a gigantic yellow spider.

I wouldnt have remembered this if it hadnt been for my blog.

Thank you blog. And happy birthday!

Hahaha

You know what I just thought of?!?!

I'm having sinus clogging issues!! I should hire a tiny itsy bitsy plumber to fix my nose! HAHAHAHA.

Actually, that idea is kind of disturbing. The human would be the size of a spider. I frikin hate spiders.

And to be perfectly honest, I dont like the idea of sticking a human up my nose. I dont want to plumber to judge my boogers or nose hair or anything else that is in my nose. Plus, I'll bet the guy is full of germs, what if I were to get sick?

Nono, this is a terrible idea. Why do I do this to myself?

Ouch! It hurts!

The allergies....have......begun. Ugh. My head hurts soooo bad. I went to the drug store at lunch and bought me some Advil Cold and Sinus. I felt bad that I dont actually have a cold, just allergies. When I went to go buy the Advil, I was afraid that the lady wouldnt sell the Advil to me because it was obvious that I wasnt sick at all. So when she rang up the Advil, I sniffed loud to show her I was sick. My nose made a weird honking noise. I dont know why. Probably because of my lame frikin sinuses.

Hows this for a weird story....

Today, my co-worker, Jodi is out sick. And I came in with a bad headache.
NEXT DOOR, Crystal is out sick, and Cindy came in with a bad headache.

WEEEEEEEEEIRD.

Now that I think on it, I wouldnt be sniffing if I were having sinus clogging issues. Which I am. Having sinus clogging issues. The drug store lady prolly thinks I'm psycho weird.

Or she doesnt care at all.

HAAHHAHAHA,

"You can go your own waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay"

I hate today, it needs to end.

My Friday

Today is my Friday! Saints be praised! Tomorrow I am going to lunch with the loverly Tanya. Fantastic. Days off are cool. I'm cool too.

I've started a gang. It's called the ButterCream Gang. The actual founders of the original ButterCream gang were junior high school boys that went out and did good to people instead of evil. So whilst Darbie and I were on our little outting to the beach, I decided to keep it going. HOWEVER, has a slightly different tone to it.

For example: The original ButterCream leader, named Scott, was dealing with a good friend gone bad. Here's a little interaction between the two:

Pete (the good friend gone bad): I'm stealing your bike, yo, cuz I'm a badass.
Scott: I wont let you steal my bike though.
Pete: Oh yea, how you gonna stop me, yo? I'm a badass.
Scott: I'm giving the bike to you.
Pete: Duhhhhh. I'm still a badass.

Pete runs off with the bike.

Here is how the new and improved ButterCream gangsta would handle it:

Pete: I'm stealing your bike, yo, cuz I'm a badass.
New ButterCream Gangsta: I wont let you steal by bike.
Pete: Oh yea, how you gonna stop me, yo? I'm a badass.
New ButterCream Gangsta: I'm giving my bike to you.
Pete: Duhhhhhh. I'm still a badass.

Pete runs off with the bike.

(Hahaha. What badass Pete doesnt know, however, is that the ButterCream gang is no longer full of Middle School boys. Nono, the ButterCream gang is now made of of crazed ladies who can drive motor vehicles!)

New ButterCream Gangsta hops in their motorized vehicle, follows badass Pete, calls out the window:

"Your momma's a badass, BIYOTCH," before pelting badass Pete with rotten eggs.

Yesterday

Yesterday I stood in line to buy some sushi at some store, and this lady in front of me bought $609.23 worth of wine. Actually, mostly wine and a little bit of beer. I was all (in my head of course) "Duuuuude, just buy a winery." And then I laughed out loud. And then the boozer lady gave me a dirty look. I dont care though. Chances are once she dips into her stock of wine, she wont remember yesterday at all.

Netflix Junkie

Narrator: Mankind, probably the most mysterious species on our planet. A mystery of open questions. Who are we? Where do we come from? Where are we going? How do we know what we believe to know? Why do we believe anything at all? Innumerable questions looking for an answer, an answer which will raise the next question and the following answer will raise a following question and so on and so forth. But in the end, isn't it always the same question and always the same answer?

The quote is from "Run Lola Run." I highly enjoyed the movie. If it hadnt been for Netflix, I probably would have never seen it. Therefore I love Netflix.

If you are interested in the movie, its about a girl who runs to save her boyfriend. Lots and lots and lots of running. And I think its German, so it has subtitles. And techno music. She runs and runs and runs to techno music that is English, but she speaks German. Or Russian.

The movie ended, and I kind of felt the same way I did after I finished watching "Sliding Doors"

"Oh hey!!! Sign here..."

Today is my first orientation day as a FA. Busy Busy. Loooong Loooong Loooong day. But I feel so very proud of all my little Direct Loan borrowers that showed up. They're sooo cute! They are all making friends, and chit chating and saying "hi" to me. I hope they all do so very well here at PPC.

Also, they can start giving me back massages soon! YESSSSS.

Heya, its Tuesday ah.

Donnie: First of all, Papa Smurf didn't create Smurfette. Gargamel did. She was sent in as Gargamel's evil spy with the intention of destroying the Smurf village, but the overwhelming goodness of the Smurf way of life transformed her. And as for the whole gang-bang scenario, it just couldn't happen. Smurfs are asexual. They don't even have reproductive organs under those little white pants. That's what's so illogical, you know, about being a Smurf. What's the point of living if you don't have a dick?

I watched Donnie Darko last night. Good movie. I highly suggest watching it if you havent. Unless you're mom.

Star Wars

I'm on my diet again. Lame. Last night Tiva and I made little charts to follow with goals and weigh ins. So far I have not cheated. My goal today was three glasses of water and no candy. In the beginning, it was easy.

Now, not so much. I'm DYING for a little taste of chocolate. But, no. If Luke Skywalker can resist the temptation of the Dark Side, I can resist chocolate.

Haha, thats how I'll stay on this diet! I'll pretend all my cravings are Darth Vador, and I'm Luke Skywalker.

For example:

Chocolate aka: Darth Vador: Hey Melissa, eat me.
Me aka: Luke Skywalker: "I will not fight you, father. I know there is still good in you. I can sense your conflict."

I can DO this. Now I have to pretend to work some more. Arg.

I put Betty in a Boboli Pizza box so the dogs could see her better. I was so proud of Betty, she wasnt scared at all. In fact, I think she was bored. 

I let the dogs look at Betty for a spell. I dont think Lexi realized until later that Betty was actually a living creature. She freaked out and tried to eat her. I've never seen Lexi like that. 

Last night, I was bored, so I took pictures of the dogs. Lexi is biting Murphy's foot because I was paying attention to Murphy, and not Lexi. 

I want to camp and eat marshmellows... DAMMIT

I havent updated my blog for a spell. So I shall do so.... now.

I'm really, very unmotivated to write actual full sentences, so I will write a list of things going on in my life:

1. Nothing really.
2. I ate a Subway Sandwich.
3. I drank Perfect Peach tea. It made the office smell peachy. (Oh yea! Peachy's got it!)
4. I worked some.
5. I am dog sitting my puppies, who are home right now hampster sitting Betty.
6. Murphy tried to eat Betty last night. I laughed. Hard. I love Murphy.
7. Betty tried to eat me last night. I stopped laughing. I frowned. I have luke-warm feelings for Betty.
8. One of the new Nathan's next door goes to PPC. I have avoided him this week. Knowing people makes me uneasy.
9. I celebrated Ben's birthday by eating a TOOOOOON.
10. I am wearing my mom's perfume because she wasnt home to tell me I couldnt. Heh.
11. I shaved my legs. I like feeling my legs now, its fun. And smoooooooooth (what does that remind you of Brenna? Smooooooooooth hiccup)
12. I am bored of writing now. Or, it very well could be that I am bored of my life right now. Either way, I am ending my blog entry for the day.

I burned my tongue today.

fill in the blank

I ____ Melissa.
Melissa is ____.
I want to ____ Melissa.
Someday Melissa will ____.
Melissa reminds me of ____.
Without Melissa, ____.
Worst thing about Melissa is ____.
I think Melissa should ____.
If Melissa were here right now, I would ____.

This is how I would have filled this out....

I love Melissa.
Melissa is loverly.
I want to be Melissa.
Someday Melissa will sneeze.
Melissa reminds me of a fresh spring day.
Without Melissa, I would not be reading this blog.
Worst thing about Melissa is that she is better than me.
I think Melissa should get paid more.
If Melissa were here right now, I would be soooo happy.

~~This has been another Jenifer inspired blog~~

What's This? Can it be!?

I'm happy!

Why?

I heard from my roommie that its going to be 72 degrees come Sunday! It better stay that way. I am beside myself. I dont know whether to plan a trip to the beach... Walk around the zoo... Take a hike... Go to the Rose Garden... Walk the waterfront... Have a barbeque... Could I do all of the above?

I say 72 degrees to 77 degrees is the absolute perfect temperature. Especially in Oregon. Especially when things are in bloom in Oregon. Everything is blooming because its been so unseasonably warm this winter.

Fantastic.