Thursday, December 30, 2004

Lunch Hour

So, I've eaten at the mall several (and when I say "several" I actually mean "a lot of") times. No one ever bugs me. I have a good "leave me alone" aura. That's why today was such a weird lunch hour. I was bothered not once, but twice.

Botherment #1:
I was eating thai food with chop sticks. I like eating with chopsticks because it makes me eat quite a bit slower than normal, so I enjoy my food more.... I was minding my own business when I noticed an elderly asian man looking at me. Not only was he looking at me, he was laughing at me (when I say "elderly asian man" imagine an americanized version of that asian dude from Kill Bill vol. 2). I dont know what I was doing wrong until he approached me and took the chopsticks out of my hand and turned them the right side up. Because, you see, I was holding my chopsticks upside down. Good grief!

Botherment #2:
After that odd little moment with the Americanized Kill Bill Vol. 2 dude, I was thinking intently about Sims2. It just so happened last night, as I was dressing Robby Yamel (my new Sims character) I put him in a shirt I thought was ugly. I then thought to myself, "who would wear something like that?! Haha!" Much to my delight a man walked in wearing the exact same shirt from the Sims2 game! I couldnt help but smile. Unfortunately, I think the man thought I was picking up on him, so he came to me and said "You're cute and all, but... I'm married." Then walked off.

crap. I mean, yeah, crap.

Wednesday, December 29, 2004

Hummm

For the lack of anything better to do, I'm writing this blog. I really have nothing to say. Therefore I shall tell you a sad tale...

Once apon this morning...
A stunningly beautiful woman named Melissa woke with a yawn. After a couple minutes of staring blankly ahead trying to figure things out, Melissa stumbled to the restroom. Melissa relieved herself. Melissa then threw her pad into the tiolet. Melissa swore.

Melissa got herself into a pickle.

"Great! What the hell am I supposed to do now?!?! There's no WAY I'm starting my day off with sticking my hand into a soiled toilet."

Melissa ponders for a moment.

"I'll try flushing the tiolet." she thinks.

Melissa flushes the tiolet. Then swears again as the water begins to rise (The water is rising because the tiolet is now plugged, for we all know that flushing a pad down the tiolet is stupid, stupid, and stupid).

Melissa ponders yet again.

"I'll just take care of it later, is what I'll do!" she says aloud.

Melissa drinks A LOT of coffee.

::30 minutes pass::

"Crap, I must pee, I must pee NOW!" exclaims Melissa.

Melissa is through thinking, she tears her kitchen apart looking for a sturdy pair of dishwasher like gloves. She finds one with mold on it. She quickly curses herself for not keeping her kitchen cleaner. She then quickly turns the blame from herself to her roommate (Melissa HATES taking the blame, you see). Melissa puts the nasty and gross glove on and plunges her hand in the toilet and rips the pad out.

Then Melissa proceeds to relieve herself for the second time that morning.

We conclude this loverly story with Melissa washing her hands three times.

::sigh:: This is the lamest of all blog entries ever.

Tuesday, December 28, 2004

YOU What is your name?: Melissa
Are you named after anyone?: Well, the original Melissa was a nurse to the god Zeus (when he was a baby), she nursed with honey. I'll just assume I was named after her.
What's your screename?: Stupid
Would you name a child of yours after you?: Doubt it.
If you were born a member of the opposite sex what would your name be?: Mitchell. Thank GOD I'm a girl.
If you could switch names with a friend who would it be?: Err, I dunno?
Are there any mispronounciations/typos that people do with your name constantly?: Actually, people, a lot of the time, call me Michelle. Which really isnt a mispronounciation of Melissa, its just the people being stupid.
Would you drop your last name if you became famous?: Well, since there are not a lot of Melissa's out there.... sure.

BASICS
Your gender: Female...
Straight/Gay/Bi: I'm an arrow
Single?: Thanks be to God, yes, I am indeed.
If not, do you want to be?: ~~~~~
Birthdate: 11/04/1981
Your age: 23 (no one likes you when you're 23)
Age you act: Gosh, I dunno. 23. Because I am 23.
Age you wish you were: 9
Your height: 5'3
Eye color: Blue.
Happy with it?: I dont have to look at them... are YOU happy with it?
Hair color: Blonde. Arent I a regular Barbie Doll... heh..
Happy with it?: Fine
Lefty/righty/ambidextrous: I like to think I'm ambidextrous. However, this isnt the case.
Your living arrangement: I live with Darbie. In an apartment. In Beaverton.
Your family: Kris, Tom, Brenna, Murphy, Lexi, Betty. Oh, right. Lindsay too.
Have any pets?: Well, I like to think Murphy and Lexi are mine. They belong to my parents though. Betty's mine. She's a hampster. (an evil french pirate hampster)
Whats your job?: Well, I WAS a receptionist. NOW I'm a financial aid officer. TAKE THAT WORLD!!
Piercings?: Ears.
Tattoos?: I have one. Yes
Obsessions?: Sims 2. And Bonanza.
Addictions?: Is picking at your nails an addiction? Picking at my nails.
Do you speak another language?: Simeleon language.
Have a favorite quote?: Let's see.... Ummm... "I give her my heart, and she gives me a pen"
Do you have a webpage?: No.

DEEP THOUGHTS
Do you live in the moment?: I dont know.
Do you consider yourself tolerant of others?: If they arent annoying me, yes. Mostly people annoy me.
Do you have any secrets?: Haha, sure.
Do you hate yourself?: Qutie the opposite, I think I may like myself too much.
Do you like your handwriting?: Wow, this IS deep.
Do you have any bad habits?: I pick at my nails.
What is the compliment you get from most people?: Ummm, lets see... "Wow! You DO have big boobs!"
If a movie was made about your life, what would it be called?: "let the melissa begin...."
What's your biggest fear?: heights. i hate them, i hate them, i HATE them.
Can you sing?: I'm a really good hummer.
But is it good?? Absolutely not.
Do you ever pretend to be someone else just to look cool?: I like to think I'm Carrie from Sex and the City.
Are you a loner?: Not on weekend nights. But other than that, umm, I guess not, no.
What are your priorities in life?: Playing Sims 2
If you were another person, would you be friends with you?: Umm, hell yea...
Are you a daredevil?: HAHHAHAHAHA. I cant even poop in public places.
Is there anything you fear or hate about yourself?: I'm too picky. About boys.
Are you passive or agressive?: Depends on how many drinks I've had...
Do you have a journal?: Well, I write in a blog.
What is your greatest strength and weakness?: Strengh - People like me! Weakness - I dont like people
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?: I'd be more book smart.
Do you think you are emotionally strong?: Yes.
Is there anything you regret doing/not doing in life?: Perhaps. I'm too lazy to think back on anything though.
Do you think life has been good so far?: Keeps getting better.
What is the most important lesson you've learned from life?: Networking works!
What do you like the most about your body?: my nose. and my ears.
And least?: My stomach. Its HUGE!
Do you think you are good looking?: Better looking than you, thats for sure.
Are you confident?: Not. At. All. I pretend to be though. It works.
What is the fictional character you are most like?: I like to think Elizabeth Bennett. I'm nothing like her though.
Are you perceived wrongly?: Apparently I look wholesome. I'm not always wholesome.

DO YOU…
Smoke?: Smokings evil
Do drugs?: No, mom, I dont.
Read the newspaper?: When it's interesting. And free.
Pray?: When I want something. Like, I really didnt want to sit next to this random guy in a plane when I was going to NC. So I prayed, and told God that I would go to church if I didnt sit next to him. I didnt sit next to him. I didnt go to church either. But I dont think God's the petty type.
Go to church?: HAHAHAHA.
Talk to strangers who IM you?: No.
Sleep with stuffed animals?: No.
Take walks in the rain?: Hi, I live in Oregon.
Talk to people even though you hate them?: When I have to work with them, yes. It drives me nuts though.
Drive?: "drive".
Like to drive fast?: I try to follow the speed limit. I usually go about 5 over the speed limit though.

WOULD YOU/ HAVE YOU EVER
Liked your voice?: No. NO.
Hurt yourself?: When I'm drunk and stupid. I've given myself a lot of bruises...
Been out of the country?: Canada and Mexico.
Eaten something that made other people sick?: I've eaten raw fish. Is that what this question means?
Been in love?: Probably.
Done drugs?: Hi?
Gone skinny dipping?: Oh yes. In my bathtub baby!
Had a medical emergency?: I got a seed stuck in my eye.
Had surgery?: Err, I had my wisdom teeth taken out.
Ran away from home?: No.
Played strip poker?: I've never even played poker.
Gotten beaten up?: Well, once in elemetary a girl TRIED to beat me up. She had no oomph to her punch though. And she also did it in front a teacher. We both got in trouble. LAME...
Beaten someone up?: I've wanted to..
Been picked on?: No. Haha, yes, everyday, yes.
Been on stage?: Yes.
Slept outdoors?: sure.
Thought about suicide?: Suicide is LAME
Pulled an all nighter?: I didnt mean to.
If yes, what is your record?: errr 32 hours maybe.
Gone one day without food?: umm, H E L L N O.
Talked on the phone all night?: Ah, that brings me back to my high school days...
Slept together with the opposite sex without actually having sex?: My mom reads this blog...
Slept all day?: Blech. Yes.
Killed someone?: Not really
Made out with a stranger?: Absolutely not. Who does that stuff?!!?
Had sex with a stranger?: No.
Thought you're going crazy?: To this very day, yes.
Kissed the same sex?: My dog lexi is a female dog. I've kissed her sweet little forehead. She's so darling.
Done anything sexual with the same sex?: Gross.
Been betrayed?: I dont know. Have I? What have you done?!!?
Had a dream that came true?: I got a job I wanted just a few weeks ago!..
Met a famous person?: I hate famous people. They annoy me.
Have you ever killed an animal by accident?: I killed a cat. It had a death wish, I SWEAR. (oh, God, I'm evil)
On purpose?: No, I feel SO SO SO bad.
Told a secret you swore you wouldn't tell?: Not yet...
Stolen anything?: A sucker back in my middle school days. And some water from Freddies a few weeks ago.
Been on radio/tv?: I dont know.
Been in a mosh-pit?: Yes. Weird.
Had a nervous breakdown?: I try to have a nervous breakdown about twice a day. It keeps things interesting.
Bungee jumped?: I hate heights. Remember?
Had a dream that kept coming back?: I keep having dreams spiders are jumping on me.
Believe in life on other planets?: Yes.
Miracles?: I'm waiting for mine.
Astrology?: I want to
Magic?: No.
God?: Ok
Satan?: Kind of
Santa?: Santa rocks
Ghosts?: Dont know yet.
Luck?: yes. I do.
Love at first sight?: No.
Yin and yang (that good cant exist without bad)?: Yes I do
Witches?: Yes
Easter bunny?: The easter bunny is weird
Believe its possible to remain faithful forever?: Of course.
Believe theres a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow?: Psshhh, I wish.
Do you wish on stars?: Not any more.

THEOLOGY
Do you believe in the traditional view of Heaven and Hell?: I'll take a one way ticket to heaven please...
Do you think God has a gender?: God rocks!
Do you believe in organized religion?: I dont believe in organization at ALL.
Where do you think we go when we die?: 6 feet under. Right?

FRIENDS
Do you have any gay/lesbian friends?: Umm, ok.
Who is your best friend?: Myself. Gosh, I love you, me.
Who's the one person that knows most about you?: Darbie
What's the best advice that anyone has ever given to you?: Haha, Rap it before you tap it. Thanks Lindsay!
Your favourite inside joke?: "I have a brother!!!" ::face smash::
Thing you're picked on most about?: my boobs. They are such an easy target.
Who's your longest known friend?: Brenna.
Newest?: Darbie
Shyest?: I think I am.
Funniest?: Ooer.
Sweetest?: Jenifer
Closest?: Darbie, Tanya
Weirdest?: Jennifer (at work, Jennifer, if you read this, you are WEIRD)
Smartest?: Again, that would be me.
Ditziest?: Me.
Friends you miss being close to the most?: Luke, me thinks...
Last person you talked to online?: Oh. I have no idea.
Who do you talk to most online?: I'm never online anymore.
Who are you on the phone with most?: Uhhh, mom?
Who do you trust most?: Kelly, Amber
Who listens to your problems?: Amber and Kelly again!
Who do you fight most with?: I dont really fight.
Who's the nicest?: Jenifer
Who's on your shit-list?: Jesus.
Have you ever thought of having sex with a friend?: NAUGHTY question
Who's your second family?: Kelly likes to think shes my mother. I already miss you kelly!
Do you always feel understood?: I've NEVER been understood.
Who's the loudest friend?: Wow
Do you trust others easily?: Sometimes.
Who's house were you last at?: Darbie. Because she lives there, probably.
Name one person who's arms you feel safe in: Murphy
Do your friends know you?: Not all of them.
Friend that lives farthest away: Brenna.

LOVE AND SUCH
Do you consider love a mistake?: I dont know what that means
What do you find romantic?: Bashfulness.
Turn-on?: Attentiveness
Turn-off?: most boys and all girls
First kiss?: Mark, sweet Mark. I was 15. Many many years ago....
If someone you had no interest in had interest in dating you how would you feel?: Same as always.
Do you prefer knowing someone before dating them: No! Yes! I HATE YOU!
Have you ever wished it was more socially acceptable for a girl to ask a guy out: No, put the pressure on THEM!
Have you ever been romantically attracted to someone physically unattractive: Umm, I've never thought so, but other people would say yes.
Do you think the opposite sex finds you good looking?: No.
What is best about the opposite sex?: I like that they are boys.
What is the worst thing about the opposite sex?: They like stupid girls.
What's the last present someone gave you?: Mom gave me Sims 2.

THE LAST PERSON
That haunted you?: I dont know, some random guy.
You wanted to kill?: Michael.
That you laughed at?: Donna and her weird assed husband.
You went shopping with?: My mom and Lindsay. I have a new phone!
That broke your heart?: My heart remains one solid beating piece.
You saw a movie with?: My sisters and my mom.
You talked to on the phone?: Nom, he just called for Jennifer. I'm working, I answer phones. I dont know Nom.
You talked to through IM/ICQ?: Ben Cartwright.
You saw?: Jennifer.
You lost?: I lost my sisters at the mall the other day.

AT THIS MOMENT
Are you going out?: I am out at work.
What are you wearing right now?: Work stuff.
What are you worried about right now?: My new job
What book are you reading?: He's Just Not That Into You.
Use 5 words to describe how you're feeling: Bored, Itcy, Tired, Twitchy, and err, Shakey. All symptoms of my withdrawal of my Sims 2.
Are you bored?: Uhhh, I would have to say, yes. I'm bored.

Hello, my name is Melissa

And I am a sims2aholic.

I was suppost to do laundry last night.
I was going to go grocery shopping this weekend.
I was going to have a meaningful conversation with my roommate last evening.
I was going to vaccume my room.
I was going to finish season 1 of the David Chapelle Show.
I was going to a morning workout with my yoga video.
I was going to pick my hampster up from my parents place.
I was going to use the restroom before I left my apartment today.
I was going to get at least 4 hours sleep last night.

Instead, I played Sims2. And now I'm going through withdrawal.

Buyers beware....

Wednesday, December 22, 2004

Baby Jesus, Give Me Strength

Tomorrow is the big day... I'm doing it tomorrow. The words will be said tomorrow. I cant go back after tomorrow. There will be no more secrets after tomorrow. Afterall, its only a day away, no?

TAHAHAHAHAHA!

Thursday, December 16, 2004

Can I ask you a question, Melissa?

"Why is it that your hair gets flat every night?" Hrmph! I say to that! Hrmph, indeed! Hateful man! ARG! The worst part of it all is that he meant it as a rhetorical question. I didnt know that. I actually started to answer him, explaining about natural oils in my hair, and my hair being fine and what not. He didnt want an answer though. He just wanted to tell me that my hair was flat. Every night. My hair is flat. This man has daughters. How is this possible?

Oh! Haha, I'll bet you want to know who I'm talking about. Well, I wont say. You can guess.

But, FYI, if your guess starts with an "M" and ends with an "ichael Heart", you're right....

Have I ever told you how much I hate mornings? I do. But at least my hair has body in the mornings.

I need to let this go.

Wednesday, December 15, 2004

Well, Well, Well

I am bored. The only thing to do right now is to blog. About what, though. Hmmm...

Ah yes, I got a fortune cookie today. It read: Your confidence is the kind that stregthens others.

Sometimes I feel like fortune cookies arent real. Like they are just bits of paper that have stupid sayings on them that you just get at complete random. Sometimes I also feel like I want do a cartwheel. Like right now.

I dont know how to do a cartwheel.

I think I have just hit a new all time low right now.

Monday, December 13, 2004

My Weekend...

So, this weekend... This is what I did

Friday: Went out with Christina to the U&I. Great bar for metal heads. I'm not a metal head. Not even CLOSE to being a metal head. Of course I still have fun because there was alcohol, Christina, and a handful of decent looking guys about, but still, I've never been so out of my element. Even that time I accidently went to that strip club somewheres in Gresham. Later Christina and I went to Shari's where Christina proceded to fall asleep to an amusing story of mine (I dont know why this keeps happening to me). Later we went back to my apartment, where Christina crashed on the couch, and I managed to find my bed underneith my clothes.

Saturday: Christina wakes me up about 9am. I drive her to where ever the hell she lives, and actually manage to find my way home without getting lost. I eat. I go back to bed for 6 hours. I awake and drive to my parents. I uploaded images onto this blog (your welcome) of my Thanksgiving weekend. I manage to have an actual conversation with my parents. I watch "The Terminal" I go back to my apartment. I fall asleep to "The Elf" about 4 hours after waking from my nap.

Sunday: I wake up after 14 hours of sleep, on the couch, no less. I sit and stare blankly ahead for about an hour and a half. I finally decide that I need to move. So I go to various places, buy various things, at various times, for various people. Lo and behold, my Christmas shopping IS DONE!!!

Now THAT is what I call a productive weekend.

PS: Mom, I did not drink and drive, Christina was the only one who had anything to drink of the two of us.

Saturday, December 11, 2004


These pictures were sent to me via email thanks to Brandon. Brandon is the boy with the black shirt in this picture.. What a lovely arm you have Brandon... Bottoms up! Posted by Hello


Brandon and me....yuppers... Posted by Hello


Oh they were playing REGULATOORS!!! Posted by Hello


Cheers! Posted by Hello


The lovely Brandon and the even lovelier Lisa Posted by Hello


I forgot posing for this picture. Too bad, I looked soooo happy. Posted by Hello


Haha, I'm drunk! Posted by Hello


On the way to Sheri's. The sad bit of this story is that I was in the middle of telling them a HILLARIOUS story at this point. Posted by Hello


Breakfast at Sheri's. It was about 3am at this point. Ah, yes, and look! My necklace is missing! I found it the next morning in my bra. At least my ta-ta's are good for something... Posted by Hello


tis me and Brandon again. This was the day after thanksgiving. We shopped all day and had some wine to unwind. HAHA. ::sigh:: Oh, and dont be fooled with the water in the picture, we didnt drink that until the next morning. Posted by Hello


Lisa was trying to dip me to a Frankie song. But I fell... Posted by Hello

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

When its overcast and 40 degrees outside.

So this morning I woke up and heard the wind blow and the err, rain pour. I was all warm and cozy in my bed. Twas nice. It was one of those mornings that I knew I would be no use at work, so I might as well stay in bed. Then I thought, "But dont you not want to go to work when its sunny outside too?" The answer is yes, I dont want to work when its sunny or rainy. Then I thought, "When is a good time to work" The answer is "When its overcast and 40 degrees outside"

I've had too much caffine today. WAAAAA. haha.

oi

Monday, December 06, 2004

Sweet Cop Killa

http://gangstaname.com/index.php

I cant get enough of this mindless crap...

What is your gangsta name. Sweet Cop Killa. What does that even mean? Why am I so amused? I need a hobby perhaps.

Sunday, December 05, 2004


Ah, Adam....Ah Bonanza.... Posted by Hello


Look! My mom's hair! Posted by Hello


Yesterday was Lindsay's 19th Birthday. I know this to be true because yesterday my cell phone beeped me and said "Remember...Lindsay is 19" Posted by Hello


I was bored the other night. I thought I would model. I like this picture because my forhead looks large, you know, like Tyra's. She would call my beauty "questionable" I dont know what that means really... Maybe people will wonder "now is that what I call pretty?" Maybe other people will be all "Hunh..." Much like me when I see Picasso (his art, not him) Posted by Hello


Awww, poor Lexi looks a little on the tipsy side... Posted by Hello

Thursday, December 02, 2004

I want to eat things

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people.

I guess this means I'm a small person then!

Let the Melissa Begin.

http://thesurrealist.co.uk/slogan.cgi

whats your slogan?

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

Annoying Fact of the Day

My goth name is Twisted Whispers. Which is more cute than goth, therefore it annoys me. My sister is Liquid Skin. Now THATS cool. And not annoying.

I'm a Questionable Porn Star Who Likes to Stroke Bill Cosby

And you?

http://www.auburn.edu/~shephcd/whatyouare.html