Dont you just want to eat him up?? 

Weekend of Looooove

I loved this weekend because this weekend loved me. I know it loved me because the weather WAS BEYOND THIS WORLD.... I was a bit dissapointed that most the plans I had this weekend were canceled at the last minute leaving me with nothing to do, but I cant stay sad in the loverly sun.

FRIDAY: Terribly boring meeting all day. Luckily it ended, and my weekend began... I rushed home, got all dolled up to look French so I would fit in with Tiva's French class. I got downtown early, so I walked the streets pretending I was French. I referred to myself as Monique and scoffed at all the Americans eating McD's cheeseburgers. And then I ate a McD's cheeseburger. Twas good, but I didnt feel guilty, because I'm Monique! And French! And much, much, much thinner than the girl I sat next to at McD's. I finally meet up with Tiva (but on Friday, she was Cecile) and we watched an African film, in french. It was interesting, I felt intelligent.

After the film ended we went to some French restaurant where I ordered stuffed chicken with brie. I also ate escargot. Then realized quickly after eating the snail, that I am most definately NOT french. We got to watch some magician play with cards. I wrote my name on a card and he threw it on the ceiling. The magician likes puns! And he is not french either.

After that we had a quick drink at some hole-in-the-wall-but-amazingly-cute-all-at-the-same-time bar, called 1201. Then I went home and slept.

Friday... OUT! (I just said that like Ryan Seacrest... its funny....)

Saturday: Found out that my plan for the day were gone... so sad, so sad. So I went shopping and the Streets of Tanasbourne for spring like clothes! Imagine Melissa.... in color. I got my eyebrows waxed. Admired the progress at my parents farm. Watched a couple of movies and went to bed.

Saturday... OUT! (come on!! I'm soooo funny and witty, you love me)

Sunday: My new neighbors moved in. Darbie made them muffins, and we visited with them for a spell. Interesting folk. Two Nathans and a Bridget. One Nathan is engaged to the Bridgett, the other Nathan is engaged to my namesake called "Missy" who resides in Eugene. All are younger than me. Weeeeeeeeird. Luckily they all share Darbie and mine's passion for beer, so we aught to have some good times.

Sunday... OUT! No more weekend. Blech.

Wish #1

You know that age old question:

"If you had three wishes, what would they be?"

I've always answered with BS answers, because, honestly, I've never known. But in a moment of realization, I now know what one of my wishes would be!!!

And here it is:

I would wish for an easy way out of everything.

Now, stop reading my blog, and get a life.....

Happy Birthday Daddio!!! You're very old!  

Golly!

I'm at work! Saints be praised! Yesterday was TERRIBLE. On Sunday, while I was on the phone with my loverly sister, Brenna, my throat began to hurt. One minute it was fine, the next BOOM, not good at all. I wrote it off as a approaching cold and ate an orange when I got home from shopping.

I went to bed.

Monday, I wake up. It felt like someone stuck a knife down my throat. I stumbled to a mirror and took a peek at my throat. Ugh! Gross, it was WAAAY swollen with puss bubbles all over it. I called me mumsi and asked her what was wrong with me. Tonsillitis. Hmmm. That's not contagious at all, so I get ready for work, because, despite my throat, I feel fine.

I get to work. I dont feel good anymore. I get diagnosed with strep throat by my co-worker. I get sent home. I go to my parents to steal their supply of anti-biotics as I am not insured as of yet. I practically drowned in Murphy's slobber while trying to take a nap. So I left to go to my apartment.

I sit in my apartment. And stare at the floor which needs to be vacuumed, but I had no energy to do it. So I fumed. And watched "Sleepers," because THAT outta cheer me up. Ugh.

Enter my roommate, who has had to day off. She went to the beach with her boyfriend. Boy did she rub that one in thick. "Oh Melissa!! It was magical! It was sunny! and warm! I ate the best ice cream EVER, we had clam chowder, and ran on the beach! blah blah blah blah, oh! and how was your day"

"I'm sick, shut up"

"Oh, that sucks. Did you know we are out of forks?" So I get up and start loading the dishwasher, as she STEALS MY SICK COUCH. SHE CHANGES THE CHANNEL FROM WHAT I WAS WATCHING TO WHAT SHE WANTED TO WATCH. Then she starts talking about how fabulous her day was, and how she didnt want to work tomorrow.

I mean, this girl, gets sick once a month. The world bends over backwards for her. Her boyfriend comes over and makes soup for her everytime. She gets the couch, the remote control, EVERYTHING is at her beck and call. When she is sick, I'm not so rude as to tell her how great my life is.

Today, no, I dont feel much better. But I am not spending one more day in that apartment. Alone. And sulky. I just get mean. And bitter. And annoying.

Work

More than one person has bought it to my attention that I dont talk much about work. I shall remedy that by speaking of work right now.

Right now there is a meeting going on with all the upper management folk in one of the classrooms here. The theme is "Jazz." You know how Jazz musicians work together while playing music? Yea, upper management is being taught (or reinforced) how to do that. They actually hired a live Jazz band to come in and play music. Why? I dunno. But right now I'm listening to live jazz.

OK, enough work talk.

Last night I had a major mental breakdown, much to Darbie's delight. The stupid fire alarm at our apartment needed a new battery. It has for about a month now. So it beeps, right?

Beep. One minute goes by. Beep. Another minute goes by. Beep.

It started doing that, and then stopped after about an hour. Last week it started up again, but NEVER STOPPED BEEPING. I tried changing the battery, but you needed a screw to open the stupid battery holder thingy. So I went to my parents place and got the tools my dad got me for Christmas. I got the battery out. I tore the fire alarm from the ceiling to make it shut the hell up. BUT IT DIDNT STOP. It kept beeping from God knows where. I didnt have the right batteries. I started yelling. And screaming. And cursing. And hitting the fire alarm with one of the tools my father gave me for Christmas.
Darbie ran into her room and shut the door, then yelled through the door, "I will NOT be a witness to what you are about to do to our apartment."
And then I yelled back, "Shut the hell up unless you want ME to fix YOU next!"
Which shut her up pretty quick. I eventually had to run to Fred Meyer to buy a stupid 9volt battery. When I was there, some loser old guy tried to pick up on me.

Usually I'm somewhat kind to people who unknowingly are annoying the crap outta me. But I was still fuming from the whole battery thing going on.

~~SCENE~~
Fred Meyer's electronic section, me standing at the batteries making sure I select the correct one.
Loser Old Guy: Hel-
Me: No. NO.
I walk away.
~~END SCENE~~

I refuse to feel bad about that though. I went home after that, put the new battery in and the beeping blissfully stopped. I missed the OC though. Crap.

Friday! Sweeeeeeeet!

1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the sentence in your journal along with these instructions.
5. Don’t search around and look for the “coolest” book you can find. Do what’s actually next to you.

"Schools are required to submit the statistical section of their Annual Crime Report to the Department on an annual basis."

-Financial Aid Manual 2004-2005

My Week, My friggin Week!

So I havent actually written in my blog this week. There's a reason probably. Just in case any of you all care about what has happened to me this week, read on. If you dont care....uhhh....what are you doing at my blog in the first place then?

MONDAY: Valentines Day!! I worked. I came home to my fuzzy and cozy apartment, ate sushi and watched me some Star Wars. My roommate came home and tried to talk to me, so I threw a couple things at her. Darbie's plant committed suicide by plunging to its death.

TUESDAY: I hate Tuesdays. I worked and ate left over sweets from the day before. I made Darbie watch some of Seven Brides for Seven Brothers. I sang along. Darbie danced along like Sim2 person. I decided to name a future child Hepsibah.

WEDNESDAY: Worked again. Scratched my head a few times. Ate a little. Complained about various things that annoy me.

TODAY that is THURSDAY: At work again, but unable to work anymore. I want to be at the Zoo. My eyes are swollen. I'm no longer in a chipper mood. I want to eat. This all may be because I think I may have put my contacts in the wrong eyeballs this morning. I'm a bit cross eyed. Being a bit cross-eyed makes me hungry. But I have to do a friggin acceptance pretty soon, so I'm stuck for the next 2 hours.

FRIDAY: Hasnt happened yet. But I'm guessing I'll complain and eat some more.

Test Time!

I made a Quiz for you!

Take my Quiz! and then Check out the Scoreboard!

http://www.quizyourfriends.com/yourquiz_IM.php?quizname=050216151636-550463
http://www.quizyourfriends.com/scoreboard.php?quizname=050216151636-550463

So True, So True

I believe you belong in Pride and Prejudice; a
world of satire and true love. A world where
everything is crystal clear to the reader, and
yet where new things seem to be happening all
the time. You belong in a world where your
free-thought puts you above the silly masses,
and where bright eyes and intelligence are
enough to attract the arrogant
millionaire/prejudiced young woman of your
choice.

Which Classic Novel do You Belong In?
brought to you by

Far Out!

You Belong in 1973

1973 If you scored... 1950 - 1959: You're fun loving, romantic, and more than a little innocent. See you at the drive in! 1960 - 1969: You are a free spirit with a huge heart. Love, peace, and happiness rule - oh, and drugs too. 1970 - 1979: Bold and brash, you take life by the horns. Whether you're partying or protesting, you give it your all! 1980 - 1989: Wild, over the top, and just a little bit cheesy. You're colorful at night - and successful during the day. 1990 - 1999: With you anything goes! You're grunge one day, ghetto fabulous the next. It's all good!

What Year Do You Belong In?

Valentines

Gimme chocolate.

OC Time Tomorrow!!

"Ryan admits that he's not Caleb's biggest fan, but, 'Luke Skywalker was happy to have a dad, even if he was Darth Vader.' Dude, what version of Star Wars are you watching? In my version, there's a lot of 'nooooo,' and then someone loses a hand. It's not so much 'happy to have a dad,' as it is, 'aw, shit, are you serious? That guy? DAMMIT.'" - www.televisionwithoutpity.com

I'm only doing this for my own entertainment. Read at your own risk...

1. Your real name: Mork
2. friends call you: ::sigh:: Melissa
3. What your bf calls you: Angel of Music. When he sings to me, it goes a little something like: "SING!! SING TO ME MY ANGEL OF MUUUUUUUUUSIC" He's odd. Wait, I dont have a boyfriend.
4. What's a name you once wished you'd rather have?: Errr, Frank.
5. What is/are the ugliest name(s) you can think of?: Kelly, err, no. Tanya. Noooo, Jennifer. Wait Brenna. Naaaaaah, gosh! You got me!
6. What would you name these if you had them as pets?
a. turtle: Tulip.
b. goose: Fitzgerald
c. pirate: If I had a pirate as a pet? Uhhh, Scott.
d. a hot girl: Unice. After my gradma.
7. If there was a song about you, what would it be called?: There already is a song about me! It's called "Melissa" by the Allman brothers.
8. What would you name your kids?: Georgia for a girl. Peter for a boy. Seriously.
9. What would you name a ship you built?: Jenny. Haha, get it? Jenny? From Forest Gump? Anyone?
10. If you wrote a book, what would it be called?: "Melissa, and the many people who annoy her. A novel..."

HAVE YOU EVER...
11. Thrown up in public?: Dont remember. I dont believe so. I did in a car. With people in it. I think I permantly scarred some random boy in the process. His last name was Gross. So it fits.
12. Eaten or drank anything spoiled?: Does stale Cheerios count? Then yes!
13. Had a rip in your pants you didn't know about? No, I knew about it...
14. Tripped while checking someone out?: Probably. I trip a lot.
15. Had to pay for something you broke?: Noo.
16. Nearly drowned?: No.
17. Passed out?: Oh, many times! Haha.
18. Had a crush on somebody: who hasn't? Yes. At the current moment I have a crush on me.
19. Been stuck in the rain?: Hi, I currently reside in Oregon.
20. Been attacked by an animal?: Yes! I think so! I dont remember!
21. Caught people having sex?: No, but I could always here one of my old roommies doing it, which is just as bad.
22. Fallen asleep while driving?: No. My dad has. hahha.
23. Felt attracted to someone of the same sex?: Just myself.
24. Actually slipped on a banana peel?: No, I dont put banana peels on the floor.
25. Made a wish that came true?: Yes, but I wish for easy things. Example "I wish for a popsicle."

COMPLETE THE SENTENCE
26. I once had a dream...That Alex DeLarge was talking to me about how he didnt want to kill the crazy cat lady. Actually, that dream was last night.
27. I'm only racist towards...Crazy cat ladies.
28. I don't even know why I'm... here.
29. I'd give anything to have sex with... No one! Sex is for perverts!
30. Nothing sucks more than having to... poop at work.
31. If I had six bucks i'd buy...my way outta here.
32. It's hot. I should take off my...scarf.
33. It's always more fun if you...do it with a smile!
34. You can't eat steak without...Teeth.
35. You better shut up before I... call you!
36. I really like you and everything but...I hate the shirt you are wearing

WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF...
40. A dirty old guy at the airport slaps your ass? Blush. Silently fume. Complain later.
41. Somebody was about to steal your car? Run away.
42. You wake up with a billion spiders crawling all over you and your bed?: I dont like this quetion. I actually have nightmares about only one spider. GREAT! now I have to silently fume!
43. You farted while giving a persuasive speech in class?: Do that thing we used to do in elementry. You know, put your thumb on the bridge of your nose and wiggle your fingers about, then say, "It wasnt me!!" Then continue the speech.
44. The person you just kissed tells you they have oral herpes? Tell him that I'm a man.
45. You have three wishes? I would wish for three things.
46. The government allowed you to choose one thing to be made illegal and one thing to be legalized?: I would make it illegal to smoke cigarettes in public parks. And I would make it legal to have open alcoholic beverages on the streets.
47. Britney Spears was at your front door asking for jumper cables?: I would tell her I didnt have any. because I dont.
48. You had a time machine?: I would sell it to someone. Make lots of money. Then move to Paris. Get married. Not to a French fellow, mind you, but an English chap. I would have two children named Peter and Georgia. Then I would eat a sandwich.
49. FOX gave you a half hour show to do whatever you wanted?: I would show a rerun of Friends. I'm creative like that.

WOULD YOU RATHER
50. Would you rather find the cure for cancer or the cure for aids?: AIDS
51. Would you rather have the power to fly, or the power to teleport?: Teleport
52. Would you rather have the power to see the future, or the power to record your dreams?: Record my dreams. I like my future to be a suprise.
53. Would you rather be really skinny, or really fat?: Skinny
54. Would you rather be lost in a forest, or stuck in a box?: Well, I could probably breathe better in a forest.
55. Would you rather be in a drama movie, or a comedy?: Comedy
56. Would you rather be in a hip hop video or a rock video?: Rock, If I were in a hip hop video, I would probably be one of those fat white girls who all the black girls point and laugh at. Because I'm white and fat and black girls like to point and laugh at me.
57. Would you rather have your birthday on Christmas Day, or on February 29th?: christmas day.
58. Would you rather live in the sewer, or in Afghanistan?: That's really mean to Afghanistan.
59. Would you rather be in a mental institution or in a penitentiary?: Mental, it would be fun to laugh at all the crazies
60. Would you rather snowboard or hang glide: snowboard.
61. Would you rather be a ninja or a pirate?: Pirate! Arrrrrrg!

WHAT'S THE FIRST THING THAT COMES TO YOUR MIND WHEN YOU READ THE FOLLOWING WORDS?
62. Courage: Heights!
63. Driver: Rush hour!
64. Yoga: Class!
65. Bakery: The dry cleaners! This is fun!
66. Roach: Down town!
67. Mushroom: A commercial!
68. Sprung: Well I never!
69. Exotic: Fruit!
70. Pythagorean: Monty Python!

MISC.
71. Construct an acronym for these words. (example: G M S = Give Me Steak)...
a. S O L R A K S: Silly online lovers run a knife shack.
b. E B A F S: Every bailiff always farts silently
c. C H I N A: Charts have indigo nobbin ankles.
d. R G P: Really Great Porno
72. What is your definition of love?:
love
( P ) Pronunciation Key
(lv)
n.
A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness
73. List 3 words that are clues to identifying a person you are currently interested in: Bonanza. Cartwright. Black.
74. Reveal a secret about you that nobody knows of, but type it in acronym form. SWIAAILTSMGB.
76. Were you too scared to do it?: To do what?
77. Who or what is your worst enemy?: Hangnails!
78. Who is the last person you kicked?: I think I acidentally kicked Lexi.
79. If you had to be a chess piece, which piece would you be?: Bishop.
80. Name three people you know whose names begin with the first letter of your last name: Maria, Marcea (I work with her, I dont know her that well), Melanie
81. What's one romantic thing somebody's done for you?: ::sniff sniff::.

WHAT'S YOUR OPINION?
83. "Girls are nothing but drama.": I'm drama? I thought I was blonde and a couple of other things.
84. "Only idiots watch The Simpsons.": Umm, who says that?
85. "Kentucky is way better than Cali": Haha, ok sure. I havent been to Kentucky ever.
86. "There's nothing wrong with stealing.": As long as its not from me.
87. "Alcohol is the answer to ALL your problems.": Even mathmatical problems?
88. "You don't need to go to college to be a brain surgeon." my brain surgeon will have gone to college.
89. "Music is stupid.": SING MY ANGEL OF MUUUUSIC!
90. "Your car sucks.": Oh yea? You're mom goes to college...

Keep this in mind...

LOOK OUT! ïòð

Melissa is a radioactive squirrel!!

My Weekend Nutshell

Friday: Err, dont exactly remember. I believe it was something boring like going to bed at 10pm. Or watching a movie. Or playing Sims2. Or all three.

Saturday: I ate some. Then I went to see a local band at the Tonic Lounge. The band is called Derby and I saw it with my roommate Darbie. Twas fantastically good. They have this whole Greenday feel to them. I was drunk though, so maybe not.

Sunday: Caught a movie with me mum. "The Wedding Date" Cute, funny, and mindless, just what the doctor ordered. I also finally talked to my youngin sister, who has made the Dean's List. Smarty. I watched a LOT of Simpsons.

And there you have it! My lame ass weekend! I loved it and want it back.

My Friday

"You gave a safety nerd a heart attack!" - Mark from Saif.

No, I dont live on the edge. I am ergonomically incorrect.

Don't tell me how to eat my ice cream!

Your Icecream Flavour is...Neopolitan!

You aren't satisfied with just one flavor. They say variety is the spice of life and this shines through in your Ice cream of choice! Just don't eat all the chocolate and leave the strawberry and vanilla behind!

What is your Icecream Flavour?
Find out at Go Quiz

Time To Update My Blog

I'm not your play thingy, Kelly!

However, as I have nothing better to do for a while, I shall update my blog.

Hmmm... I have fallen in love with Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy's love child. His name is Anatole "Anthony" Federov of Trevose PA. You may have seen him on American Idol. Well, to be perfectly honest, Anthony is annoying. But he's funny because he looks like Harry and Draco. So I love him.

And there you have it.

If you have nothing good to blog about...

Dont blog at all.

Chum chuuuu reee youuuuuu.