Tuesday, bloody Tuesday

I don't like a lot of things because they annoy me. For example, dirty toilets, ugly shirts, watered down alcoholic beverages, itchy bely buttons, people who tell me mother that I make-out with boys near restrooms in bars, morning breath, running out of coffee, tripping over my feet in front of people, you get my jist.

Well, I guess that's all I had to say.

Phluph

Why, WHY does Mr. Darcy (10,000 pounds per year, Mr. Bennett!) have to be a fictional character? I love him so. Ah, to be Elizabeth Bennett, I would dry flowers and take walks forever and ever. And have sharp wit. And be pretty. And be Mr. Darcy's (hateful man!) wife.

VICTORY! or not, whatever

I got on the scale this morning and it told me I weighed 134 pounds. Which means I have lost 8 pounds since beginning my diet. I got excited and jumped up and down in excitment. And then the scale broke under my jumpy weight. I guess 134 pounds isnt as light as one would think.

I got a hair cut today.

Oldiness

It has just dawned on me that the only thing I actually remember about high school is that I used to eat plain bagels in the morning. High school was four years ago. What does this mean?

You ever had one of those days?

You ever had one of those days where, like, you know, EVERYONE pisses you off? Even if you're not mad at anyone, and actually they make you laugh and everything, but just the fact that they exsist and you have to interact with them pisses you off? You ever have one of those days, where it would be beneficial for EVERYONE if you just stayed home and watched conflict arise between Carly and Sonny on General Hospital? And then later you would go out for lunch at some random restaurant where NO ONE speaks ANY english at all, so starting a conversation with you would be both pointless and dumb becuase it would just end in a tragic hand gesturing fight that would result in me slapping them? And then later when I am full I go to a sauna room at the gym, where NO ONE interupts me because when they try to open the sauna room door they get a shock, becuase this sauna room door is METAL not WOOD, so they say "screw it" and go to the steam room instead so I am able to sprawl out in my birthday suit with out having to compare myself with a 45 year old women who has 18 children, yet still has a much much better body than I do? Then later I go home and watch a couple of my favorite movies without my roommate coming in and asking me how my day is? And then I go to bed? After I eat more? After I eat a meal that was made for me magically and later my dishes would also be magically cleaned up all by itself? Because cleaning blows? Oh, oh, yea! And when I do go to bed some hot, hot, hot man that makes Brad Pitt look like, errr, Michael Moore comes in and gives a LOOOOOOOOOONG massage, so when I wake up all my muscels will be all "oh, Melissa, we love you so!"? And then later on that next day this hot, hot, hot man who also happens to be rich, and really, really wants to pay off all my bills, and who also has a wonderful personality and hates skinny, pretty women, asks me on a date to the same restaurant where no one speaks any english then proposes to me, then takes me to Vegas where we marry, and then he later takes me to England to honeymoon? And then buys me a lot of tailored clothes? And then later we go beat George W. Bush and Paris Hilton with a base ball bat?

Yea, I know, I'm having one of those days too. Really. FRICK!

Oh No!

I've thought of something just now....Crazy people....don't know they are crazy. Holy frick! I could be crazy and not know it. I hung out with someone yesterday, but no one met him but me...I could have made him up. Maybe I was all alone all yesterday. This is so messed up. I need to call my psychiatrist.

I don't have a psychiatrist.

Beef

There was a time when I was younger, where I had a bus driver named Amy who would drive all her passengers to their front door. She was cool. She was in school training to be a teacher. One day she drove me to my front door. Very nice of her, indeed, HOWEVER, I was going to be babysat by one of my neighbors down the street, so she dropped me off at the wrong place. I felt bad that she went out of her way to make my pitiful life just a little better, so I walked to my front door, stopped, turned around, smiled and waved goodbye to her. But she didnt leave, see? She stayed around and waited for me to go inside. I couldnt go inside though, I didnt have the key, so I just sat there waving at her. And she kept on waving at me. It was a waving party, soon other classmates of mine started to wave at me too. And I just continued to wave. Golly, I was embarresed. Finally, after about 45 seconds of this, I turned my back to the bus and just stood at a corner next to my front door. I rested my head on my house, waiting for the bus to leave. Finally about another 30 seconds later the bus left. The rest of the year, while Amy was still my bus driver, I got the oddest looks from her. As odd as this story is, I think its weirder that my sister has decided to become a vegetarian.

Hungry Hungry Hippo

I'm bored with Mt. Saint Helens. ERUPT ALREADY!!! For the love of Super Tramp! Enough blowing steam, AND ERUPT!!! ::sigh:: Everytime I turn the television on, the news people are doing coverage. I only have basic cable. I'm bored watching whats-his-name....ummmm... Ken Achorman or something. IM BORED OF YOU KEN!! I'm bored of scientists talking about a 70% chance that we may or may not have a slight eruption! I'm sick of looking and the geologists weird haircuts! And their stupid polo shirts! And the weird words they use! I was actually sooooo bored with them this morning that I just decided to be attracted to one of the geologists. I forgot his name. He had a beard. And an unusually large head. Or an unusually small body, I couldnt tell. And a pointy nose. He was talking about how the mountain may or may not erupt. And it may or may not be a large or small eruption. He's going to keep us informed. Whatever.

Another Musical Survey

Music survey...
1) Using band names, spell out your first name:

Metallica

Evanescence

Linkin Park

Idol, Billy

Simpson, Jessica

Spears, Britney

Aerosmith

2) Have you ever had a song written about you?

Oh yes, and that song was "Strut" by Sheena Easton HA Ha Ha HA, oi...

3)

What song makes you cry?

Dave Matthews, the Dreaming Tree

4) What song makes you happy?

Any Beatles songs, even the sad depressing ones, and the ones about drugs. All of them....

5) What do you like to listen to before bed?

Gosh, anything

6)Name a song by Coal Chamber:

I dont know who coal chamber is, but I will write a sentence with Coal and Chamber in it. Here we go... "I left my coal in the chamber again."

7) Who was/were your idol/s when you were younger?

Ace of Base, dont...say...a...word

8) First album you ever bought?

Alanis Morriset, I didnt spell her name right

9) Name a song that reminds you of someone and why:

any 311 song reminds me of sona. because sona is weird. HAHA, no. Actually, she turned me on to 311, which i am grateful for to this very day.

a p p e a r a n c e

HEIGHT: 5'3"

HAIR COLOR: Blonde

EYE COLOR: Blue

PIERCINGS: ears

TATTOOS: one

r i g h t n o w

WHAT COLOR PANTS ARE YOU WEARING?: Blue jean pants that are the color blue

WHAT SONG ARE YOU LISTENING TO?: No song, I'm listening to Lexi growl at Murphy

WHAT TASTE IS IN YOUR MOUTH?: This gum that I am currently chewing on. It's wintergreen.

WHAT'S THE WEATHER LIKE?: Sunny. Right now. But the VOLCANO WILL ERUPT AT ANY MINUTE NOW COVERING THE WORLD WITH ASHINESS!!!! Haha. Or not.

HOW ARE YOU? Oh!, good, thanks, and you?

f a v o r i t e s

TV SHOW: Sex and the City, Seinfeld

CONDITIONER: Pretty smelling ones

BOOK: Angus, Thongs, and Full-Frontal Snogging, Harry Potter

NON-ALCOHOLIC DRINK: Soda and water

THING TO DO ON THE WEEKEND: Not work

BAND OR GROUP or SINGER or RAPPER: Dave

h a v e y o u

BROKEN THE LAW: Ummm, yes.

RAN AWAY FROM HOME: ummm, no

SNUCK OUT OF THE HOUSE: Ummm, no. I have snuck in my house, however.

EVER GONE SKINNY DIPPING: no, why? what have you heard/seen?

MADE A PRANK PHONE CALL: in elementary, yes. i'll admit it

USED YOUR PARENTS' CREDIT CARD BEFORE: when i've had permission

SKIPPED SCHOOL BEFORE: oh, sure, lots of times. Unless my mom is reading this, then no, I have never, not once.

FELL ASLEEP IN THE SHOWER/BATH: no. has anyone EVER done that, noooo

BEEN IN A SCHOOL PLAY: no

LET A FRIEND CRY ON YOUR SHOULDER: maybe, i dont remember. i usually dont listen to ppl complain. HAHA, no i listen.

l o v e

BOYFRIEND: this is a really long survey.

GIRLFRIEND: gross, thats worse than having a boyfriend even.

SEXUALITY: straight

CHILDREN: blech, thats worse than having a girlfriend even.

CURRENT CRUSH: Dave

BEEN IN LOVE?: oh man! thats worse than having children even

HAD A HARD TIME GETTING OVER SOMEONE: no, n e v e r

BEEN HURT?: i'm bullet proof

GONE OUT WITH A SOMEONE YOU ONLY KNEW FOR THREE DAYS: stupid question, next..

r a n d o m

DO YOU HAVE A JOB: 2

YOUR CD PLAYER HAS IN IT RIGHT NOW: jack johnson

IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?: blue

WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY?: shinny things

WHO MAKES YOU THE HAPPIEST?: Murphy

WHAT'S THE NEXT CD YOU'RE GONNA GET?: I was thinking...White Stripes.

WHO DO YOU CONSIDER GOOD FRIENDS?: Family

WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO DO?: Laugh

w h e n / w h a t w a s t h e l a s t

TIME YOU CRIED?: At work in the back room. Filing makes me cry.

YOU GOT A REAL LETTER?: i dont remember, I think i got one from a friend of a friend of a friend, who passed out and I had her spend the night at my apartment, and then she sent me a letter with a starbucks gift cerficate thanking me. that girl has gooooooood etiquette.

GOT E-MAIL: hahah yesterday

THING YOU PURCHASED: a sandwich from subway

TV PROGRAM YOU WATCHED: dateline

MOVIE YOU SAW AT THE THEATER: wimbeldon

y o u r t h o u g h t s o n

ABORTION: A girls right to choose!

TEENAGE SMOKING: Very dumb and not well thought out.

SPICE GIRLS: who?

DREAMS: I had a dream that I wasnt morally able to eat purple skittles because purple skittles are pregnant with other skittles. Also, if you ate a purple skittle, God would punish you by making a rainbow explode out of your stomach, and then some annoying kids would whisper "taste the rainbow, mother f**ker"

Amen 

Ah, This is a Blessed Friday

I got free panties today. Thank you Kelly and Kurt! HAHAHAHAHA, hooooo boy. WEEKEND TIME!!!!