TV W/Out Pity Recap

I woke up this morning overpowered by a love of Scott Savol, a real desire to see him win. His utter lack of grace or class, his quickly disintegrating voice, his hideous face and unsettling demeanor, his ungrateful and hateful lack of social skills…what can I say? I now find these things delightful. That's why tonight's episode was such a roller-coaster of emotion, by turns both terrifying and inspiring.
The Idols perform "When You Tell Me That You Love Me" one more fucking time, and highlighted, on the main, are Constantine, Bo, and Carrie, although Vonzell and Anwar have a nice duet and the girls come together in a hellishly off harmony. At one point the camera trucks across them upstage, and Scott gives such a delightfully disgusting face that I almost call to vote right then, even though it's Wednesday.
There's a fairly interesting "Day In The Life" segment where we break down their weekly activities. Thursdays, they pick next week's song. Friday, it's interview clips and weekly shopping. Saturday: recording and sometimes actual downtime. (This part was thrillingly narrated by Our Man Scott, who would seem to read at a robust fifth grade level! Good on you, Scott!) Sunday, they film the pimpomercial. Monday's the first band rehearsal. Tuesday is a walkthrough, dress rehearsal, and then live at 5 PST -- Scott explaining here that he doesn't normally wear makeup at home, which should put to rest those "WhiteTrashPlanetLove.com" rumors, and thank Fake Jesus for that! Wednesday, they freak out, then go to the studio to find out if Scott's safe. And he always, always is!
We quickly review: A-Fed and Anwar came out of nowhere, Nadia made up her song, Vonzell made banal into awesome, Carrie was great, and Bo and Con were carried by impressive light shows and exciting music. Scott had the most overwrought instrumentation of all, like he needed it, and then was justified in calling me a chump for not having the "guts" to half-ass it to the Final Eight on a wave of cognitive dissonance and white trash solidarity. I am a chump. Not even a criminal record!
Then: HORRORS! You guessed it. The bottom three each get to sing their favorite past songs, so Scott sings "Against All Odds." He does a bunch of slippery vocoder fake runs, and Paula lurches around cheering until Simon physically restrains her. Scott keeps stabbing his finger at himself and then up at God, who's totally like his special friend. His voice sounds completely shot and his vibrato goes painfully sharp at the end; we've been blessed with another tasteless Scott Savol performance, completely lacking in subtlety or work ethic. I'm so completely grateful.
Carrie and Anwar are safe, then Bo is in the bottom three. He talks a mess about how he couldn't care less about what happens, and I lose even more respect for him even as I agree with his point. He sings "Remedy" and it's fun. The remaining Idols dance around like assholes, totally "rocking out," particularly Constantine with his nasty-ass greasy ponytail. Bo gives Scott a dap and hug, like a total wuss. I mean, that's way more than Scott has ever given a fellow contestant on the Seal.
Simon explains that Constantine was "astonishing" last night because all of the ingredients: a totally stylized gimmick song, the disgusting perverted performance, the sticking out of the tongue, were all really ill-advised and stupid, but he managed to pull it off. I hate to agree with all of this, but I do, actually. Then Constantine won't shut the fuck up and let Ryan do his job, interrupting him more than Bo did, and finally lets Ryan tell him he's safe.
Neither Vonzell nor A-Fed will be in the bottom three this week, but if they were, they would sing "I Have Nothing" and "Every Time You Go Away," respectively. Nadia, who's totally going home tonight, then performs "You Don't Have To Say You Love Me," wearing a perfectly Nadia dress. Several times the vibrato gets a little less controlled than usual, but it's still as beautiful as the first time, and about halfway through, the cheers snap her out of it and she goes into the Whole Nadia Thing and it's nice. Then Bo and Nadia embrace while Scott ignores them both. Yeah, buddy.
Nadia proudly resists admitting she feels dumb for being "artsy-fartsy" to the exclusion of giving people anything to hold onto. It's fairly adorable when she starts laughing about how "unfortunately maybe that's not working anymore." Bo and Nadia take a step back so Scott, safe, can breeze by them like they don't even exist, and you know what, for somebody with his almost supernatural gift and ostentatious relationship with Fake Jesus, they practically don't.
Randy is disgusted, Paula actually knows that Bo is fine and basically says so, but Ryan still has to make with the suspense. Paula ruins everything. Bo is safe, and hugs Nadia, who gives a little speech and then starts crying immediately, so her eye makeup starts melting and drizzling into her eyes, and finally Ryan gives her his necktie so she won't have to deal with losing, crying, and being blinded all at once. Then she says goodbye to us and jokes around with the other Idols, who at this point look a bit more destroyed than she. Except Scott, of course.
Well, that's this week. Next week, though, I'm rooting for Scott the whole time. You hear me, Scott? It's all about you, baby. And as Judd, Nikko, Mikalah, Jessica, Lindsey, and Nadia can attest, I am a good, good friend to have. I only hope I can do for you what I've done for them, buddy.