A Tale of Two Flies (and Me)

Flies have always annoyed me, and they will continue to annoy me far into the future, I believe. I hate their buzzing and stupid, you know, selves. They poop every 10 seconds. Thats why they land everywhere. The ENTIRE world is their personal toilet. For some reason, lately flies have been living with me (mind you, with OUT paying any rent) even though they annoy me. This year has been a difficult one for me, flies are faster than they normally are. And may I say, a bit...smarter than they used to be. Oh yes. Just the other evening, as I was slipping off into lala land, a fly landed in my ear. I FREAKED! All I could think was that a fly pooped in my ear. Gross. So I thrashed up (imagine an infected person from 28 Days Later) grabbed a piece of paper and went to war with this fly. I soon realized that this fly could not be killed, so PLAN B, kick it out of my room at least. It can poop on the couch, but not on me. 30 minutes later - they fly has LEFT THE ROOM. Praise Buddah/Baby Jesus/Whoever. 20 minutes later I finally start slipping back to lala land. "Buzzzz" IT CANT BE. No. Flies cant do that, my door is firmly shut... "BUZZZZZZ" It IS. I almost cried. Perhaps I did cry, I dont remember at this point. A fly has landed in my ear again. So the fly and I went through the whole dance again. I thought I was going CRAZY. Why was this fly stalking me? Was it because I killed its ancestors?? Oh I dont know. 30 minutes later, I get the fly out of my room. I spent ONE HOUR fighting with a fly. One entire hour on a Saturday night. While other people were out having a life. I battled with a fly who wanted to make my ear its personal poop toilet. ::sigh:: So this is whats become of my life...