I have the whitest legs in the universe. I think aliens from outer space would fly down here, take one look at me and say "Dude, that chick's got white legs!" Because I totally do.

Right now I'm using self tanner. I tried to use the sun, but it didnt work. The sun must have been aaaall, "dude! That girl makes me gotta wear shades." I think the sun would sound a little like Bruce Willis.

I dont know if orange is better than white, but what the heck, right? At least people will stop cringing at me. Like the lady at my pedicure place who seemed hyptnotized by the brightness of my legs. She even had her mouth wide open. I may have seen drool (not drool, like "oooh, nice legs" but drool like, "ooooh, oh my...it's sooo bright...."). At least it will look like I'm trying, right?

::sigh::